Philly is pissing me off

For the most part the city of Philadelphia has treated me well enough or at least well enough for me to stay here this long.  Every once in a while I will have a day that is just full of f*ckery and all types of bullsh*t!  Just for the record Philly drivers are starting to move up on the a**hole list.

I am driving behind some dude this morning and the a**hole was not paying attention because he was in his damn phone and talking to the passenger so I am trailing carefully.  We stop at a light then it turns green and the d*ckhead is just sitting there so I lightly tap the horn as to say, "hey look up and go" as opposed to me holding down the horn saying, "The f*ck is you doing B*tch a** Motherf*cker".  See the difference?  So as he slowly accelerates he decides to give me the finger out the window.  Me being the fine citizen that I am flipped him the bird back along with a few choice words that he never heard because my windows were rolled up.  As he proceeds to drive down the street he thought he was being "funny" and slams on the brakes like I don't have cat like reflexes.  What he did not know was that if I had rear ended him I was jumping out the car throwing the first 3 punches in his face and then jumping in my car and going home.  I just can't wait until the day that I have the battering ram on my car!

The second incident I was around the corner from my house at Lincoln Fried Chicken trying to get a few slices of pizza and in walks this maybe middle aged but quite possibly older the middle aged hood chick.  She walks in the cashier offers his assistance she declines then looks up at tv and whatever show were talking about injections for women to get rid of wrinkles.  I am not sure what made her think that I gave a f*ck about her or the show but she wants to start telling me that they never talk about men and their wrinkles and they only talk about women because men care.  She told me that men get wrinkles too and they need injections or some nonsense.  I nodded politely and responded with "right" as she kept mumbling on and missing the cue that I came for food and not conversation.  Before she walks out the door she threw some trash away and swallowed more than half of her banana whole.  Had I know that was her special trick before the conversation started I may have actually made that the discussion point. lol

75%

Over in France the new President, Francois Hollande, is proposing to tax the rich (income $1.24 mil a year) 75% of their income.  This is the most asinine thing I have ever heard!  For people to even think that is a good idea baffles the mind and the fact that the President of a damn country thinks this would be effective for his country is dumbfounding and quite concerning even for France.

I like to say that if the Government ever tried to tax me 75% of my income that they would have to show up to the doorstep with a motherf*cking AK-47 and Mike Tyson and pry it from my dead body.  If anybody thinks they are taking 75% of my money please know that I will defecate on as many bills as possible and pile them all up and then and have somebody collect "their" money then.  There is no way anybody can reasonably think that I am going to bust my a** and somebody is going to come in and take more than half!  These types of proposals are what causes fights to break out and not stop for weeks at a time.

The problem with the idea coming from this socialist President is that he is only making things worst for his country and not helping a damn thing.  What is happening and what will happen even more is that the wealthy who will get taxed unfairly will say, "F*ck you I am moving". So now the rich people you wanted to tax for being successful are gone and you now have nobody to tax out their a**.  So, now that the rich are gone and so are the damn jobs that they provided.  Which just gives you more broke bastards that the Government takes care of but there is no money to pull from because the idiot ran them off. *note to self career in politics if male stripper falls through *

All I know is that I have my eye on a certain President over here but I am sure he is smart enough to know that type of backwards thinking does more harm than it does good. (giggles)  I mean the last thing we need over here is to realize that he might be able to almost pull some sh*t off over here because a majority of the people don't even know they are lambs being led to the slaughter.

I will leave you with this question:  When is the last time you have been employed by a piss poor person?

Tickle me Elmo

Have the actions of Kevin Clash, former Elmo puppeteer left you with a rash of questions?

Sooo, what happens to Elmo?

I mean something has to happen with Elmo, right?

 Is Elmo now tainted?

Can Elmo resign?

Do you now wonder what Oscar the Grouch might have been doing in the trashcan?

Does this make the Bert and Ernie rumors a little more believable? 

Are you buying your child Tickle Me Elmo for X-mas this year?

Are you now wondering what Elmo was really tickling?

How many of you trusted a grown man sticking his hand up a puppet's a**?

What type of perverted activities has Kevin Clash done with the Elmo doll?

If Kevin Clash was to go to jail would him and Jerry Sandusky share a cell?

Was Mitt Romney onto something with wanting Sesame Street to fund themselves instead of the Gov't?

Y'all march over dumb sh*t

Is it me or do Black people march and protest over anything?  This sh8t is damn disgusting.  Then when it becomes time to march over some real sh*t , nobody gives a flying f*ck because you were marching over some ole simple a** sh*t!  Point in case:  baffled!

Sooo, you mean to tell the brother that molly whopped the gas attendant at 3am for no damn reason and then got shot is the victim?  F*ck outta here!!  I feel like it is an epidemic of dumb people taking over the world.  One of the people in video had a nerve to have a sign that said, "He is a young innocent Father" B*tch please!  That innocence goes out the window when you throw hands for no reason and clock somebody upside the head. The dude's Father says, "He did not have to shoot my son".  Your knucklehead aint have to hit him either.  I am a staunch supporter of disproportional response!  You throw a rock, b*tch I might throw a bullet back.  This is why you don't roll up on people and get physical. I mean what did the dude think was going to happen it is 3:30am at a gas station conveience store in TEXAS.  Why would the employee not be packing some heat?


What really pisses me off is that the clerk does not have his job at the gas station anymore.  Here we have somebody out there holding down a job in a f*cked up economy and he has to lose his job because he defended himself and the community does not like it.  As my man Star says, "Gunshots for EVERYBODY"!  Maybe it is for the best because I am sure somebody would come back trying to play a hero and ended up catching a slug to the dome because clearly this dude has no qualms about it letting it go!

For the community activist leading the crowd with his foot soldiers flanking him and then talking that sh*t with the cameras in front of him while with the store owner please do us a favor and eat glass.  Just want to say sometimes n*ggas aint sh*t!!

Yams

I wanted to do a blog centered around Thanksgiving and maybe stating what I was thankful for but I believe I have done that before .  So, I racked my brain on trying to figure out what to write about, what do people think about when they hear the word Thanksgiving?  It dawned on me "YAMS" .  I mean who does not like yams?

So within the past two weeks a couple events have happened over some "yams" and it really got me thinking.  You may not be living until you just snap out over some yams like a good core shaking snap out.  Sure, some of you are like what are you talking about, who REALLY snaps out over yams. Ladies and gentleman I give you former WNBA player, Chamique Holdsclaw. YUP, you read it right she let off a shot from the oowap and put a hole in this b*tch's car.  She broke their windows and poured gasoline on the damn truck trying to blow that motherf*cker up.  That right there is some excellent yams.  When you are ready to throw away your own life over some damn yams, some unspeakable sh*t must have happened to you and threw you completely off orbit and you want all that sh*t back.

What if I have it all wrong about these WNBA chicks?  What if they really get it CRACKING!  What if the league is not made up of a bunch of chicks that might be able to give me a scare on a game of 1 on 1?  What if there are more hidden gems than women-men things in the NBA?  What if the h*es really could not make me quiver and assume a fetal position at night by yelling at me to "Eat the cake Anna Mae"?

The second event that happened but was of no shock to me happened to be about my favorite woman of all time, Halle Berry, the real Helen of Troy.  Depending on what side tells the story you are not really sure who was the aggressor and who was the victim but I mean who cares?  Fellas, I get it from both point of views.  The Baby Daddy was dropping his child off and took one look at Halle and realized he wanted that old thing back and went to throw fisticuffs.  I get it I really do!  Or maybe the new dude looked at the ex and realized he was once using no condom and skeeting all in Halle and sent him into a uncontrollable rage and lost it and tried to remove dude's head from his shoulders.  It is Halle f*cking Berry I get it.

Hope everybody had a Happy Thanksgiving!! I know whoever is with Chaminque's  ex is having the best Yamsgiving ever!!

How far you have fallen

Tiki Barber, for those not familiar is a ex football player for the NY Giants.  He had a 9 year career as a running back, all for the G-Men.  This is the same Tiki Barber who criticized his coach who happened to save his NFL career by fixing his fumbling problem.  The same Tiki Barber who criticized Eli Manning as not being a capable leader who has since won two Superbowls when Tiki retired.  Matter of fact the year he retired they won the chip the next year but I digress.  That guy.

I just happened to be browsing the internet and saw this glorious article.  I was kind of astounded so I read it once and then once again.  Tiki Barber, I mean you no disrespect but kill yourself!!  It is over my dude.  Really, you think somebody is going to pay damn near $2,000 for you per game for some f*cking flag football.  I have not even heard of a league being that damn expensive.  What makes you think you are worth that much for somebody's damn flag football league.  Tiki, you were a damn running back not a quarterback, receiver, or a freaking lineman but a running back.  How many flag football teams you know that needs a running back? This bald headed bastard happened to have a list of other sports he said he could play.  Basketball, badmington, kickball and dodgeball.  YUP, f*cking dodgeball!  If I wanted a dodgeball player I would go to the nearest elementary school and get recruiting.

I get it, you need some money and who doesn't.  You lost a lot of money for d*cking down the young b*tch while your wife was married and pregnant with your twins.  Being divorced is kicking your a** but you did that you ole simple a** motherf*cker! Your tv career went down the can for your side chick who is now your wife.  Was it worth it?  Four kids, a bitter ex wife, and a new wife is a lot to pay for.  I hope you find a lot of dodgeball games to play.  Matter of fact when people start paying and you start playing these games most people play for free let me know what time the game is I am coming with my mask and gun to stick these fools up smh

Hadouken!!!

 I am sure by now everybody has seen the "uppercut heard around the world"  If not sit back and enjoy.

This was too good of a moment for me to pass up, especially since he was just fired from his position not too long ago.  I have had numerous debates on if the bus driver was wrong, if I would do that to a woman, what if somebody did that to my sister and etc.

The bus driver did not do a damn thing wrong.  He WAS  driving a damn bus while the ratchet hood rat spit on him and then decided to cheap shot him.  So already he is able to claim self defense because of the lack of discipline she had. I will remind you he was driving the bus with passengers riding along.

I think people go wrong by over analyzing the punch.  Sure, it was an uppercut, a pinpoint uppercut that caught her square on her chin and she did fly.  Granted, it was reminsicent of the old Mortal Kombat video game when you could uppercut somebody to the lower level with spikes that impales them but I digress.  Did she not have that coming to her?  Was she not acting like a complete savage?  Did she not do the most disrespectful thing and spit on another human being?

If I was the bus driver I would have absolutely laid hands on her. Hopefully I would have been lucky enough to have a textbook form punch.  I always get the naysayers, you would not hit her and if you do not that hard.  If somebody gives me a opening to fully step into my punch to shift all my weight into my fist you better believe it!  Naw, I probably would have hit her with two shots to the body and one to the head and hoped that my combo would have equaled the bus drivers one hit.  It is only right to expect the return hit to be much harder than the first punch you throw.  Matter of fact it behooves you to expect a Goliath like punch!!

My sister knows better than to put her hands on a man and to not expect a fight.  The game is the game and that is just how it goes. I really don't understand females these days who thinks it is okay to put hands on a man and the man is not allowed to strike back.  A perfect way to get your head split wide open.

 If a man puts hands on her first then all bets are off and I have no choice but to take her side.  The fight is not fair and I should be the one to even things up.  Sure, if my sister was the ratchet chick on the bus maaaybe off of general principal I bring some noise to the dude but ehh probably not.  It is hard a lesson but if you want to do men "sh*t" then so be it.

Ratchet, hood dirty girl from Cleveland who cost that man his job f*ck you and a big ole glob of spit for you!!!

My random a** day

My random thoughts from today.....

I will never ever understand why the Police department make you take a test to prove that you are physically fit to become a Roller but they don't make you take any tests to maintain these standards.  Earlier in the day I watched these old, fat, white police officers drive by and was quite perplexed to think that at one point in life they were in shape.  I struggled with the thought they could catch me if I decided to break the law and it dawned on me that they would be the ones to shoot me and not chase.

As I become older there is just some sh*t I can't support anymore.  Take for instance this Lil Wayne character who is a quality enough rapper at times but really is just a piece of sh*t!  I let a lot of this ratchet sh*t slide most of the time because from time to time I enjoy the nonsense but this dude's deposition  hearing was beyond horrible.  The stupid thing is that he was the one doing the suing and wants to act like an a**.  I am hear to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.  You are an entertainer...sure I get it but cut it out.  You kiss your "Father" in the mouth, there are tats and piercings all over your face and you weigh a 145lbs soaking wet.  I just don't believe you.  The problem is that there are a bunch of young knuckleheads out there that saw the video and will repeat that same performance in court someday thinking they are cool , but will only find out that type of behavior gets them thrown behind bars, where Bubba makes them put their ankles over their head and count to 75 with their eyes closed.  You are f*cking up the hood man.  At least try and give them a fighting chance.

Not that it matters but I just can't purchase any of your music anymore not that I have bothered to buy anything after the 2nd Carter but who is really paying attention.  I will however give you credit for one of the greatest lines of all time, "Whats your real name, not your stripper name".  Tell me you never wanted to ask her that lol

Is religion the new politics??

It has been a very long time since I have decided to put my thoughts to the keyboard and pump out a new blog post.  There has been plenty of sh*t going on since my last post to rant and rave about and maybe I will get there but this has definitely been on my mind.  Give me a few posts to shake off the rust.

Is religion the new politics? That subject that makes people lose their heads and think about grabbing a pistol to do the Lord's work!  As we all know the 2012 election ended about a week ago and Barack Obama was elected to serve another 4 years as the President of the United States.  This election has stirred so many emotions about politics from people who I would never thought gave a damn about anything.  People were shouting all the time go out and vote because it is your right and you should vote just because you can.  WRONG!! I prefer dumb, uneducated, ignant motherf*ckers to stay the hell home if you have no clue what you are voting for.  Vote for whoever you want but know why however I digress.

After the election I had one of the strangest interactions with a friend.  I was asked about my thoughts on the elections and I simply replied that they did not want to know.  Sh*t went all downhill from there. smh

Me: I did not vote for the President.

Them: I can't talk to you anymore since you didn't not Barack the vote.

Me: I figured that much

Them: Okay take care

Me: lol cold word huh

Me: With all that said am I still allowed to hang out with you?lol

 *20 minutes later *

Me: Wait, you serious?

Them: Yes I am

Me: Okay

*45 minutes later *

Them: I can't believe ur a republican.....

Me: Who said that?

Them: If u didn't vote democrat then.....

Me: Unaffiliated, green, etc

Them: Omg good night

Me: Only Democrat is right?

Them: Right for me

Me: Oh okay

Them: Good night smh

I have never had anybody stop being my friend because of political affiliations even thought I did not specify what I was.  Hell, I may not have even voted for all they know.  I understand people not wanting to be friends because of money, sexual relations with their significant other, or eating the last f*cking Oreo cookie but this sh*t???  I am glad people are trying to be involved in what shapes America's future but damn...kick rocks.  I mean what would your President do?

Philly Hooodrats!!!

Philadelphia is off to a rough 2012.  We have more murders than we have had days so far. smh  Something needs to change and it should happen quickly.  This blog post is not about the murder rate of the city but it is about the unruly Philly b*tches that this city has.

All of the nonsense happened yesterday and maybe it was just a case of the Mondays or maybe just a case of IGNANT a** hoodrats.  I am walking around West Philly and a street cleaner is riding around on his lawnmower trash picker upper thing trying to pick up the trash on the streets.  This man waiting for a few minutes for these two hookers to move off the corner of the street and onto the sidewalk so he could vacuum the debris.  Don't you know these lazy motherf*ckers did not move at all!!  They stood there and continued on with their conversation like this man was not trying to keep THEIR streets clean.  I am going to go out on a limb and say some of the litter came from those find upstanding wh*res.  I was at a loss of words because all they had to do was a take few steps up and to the left and they would have been out of the way and had a cleaner street to stand on.  Hell the couple of steps they could have taken would have maybe helped burn off a calorie or two which would not have hurt  their bottom line.


Later on in the day I was searching for a flat screen television for my bedroom on craigslist and came across a decent deal.  So I sent an email:

Hello,

Me:I was on CL and recently saw your ad for the 24 inch Dynex television.  Is that still available?

Her: yes I just posted it.

Me: Everything is good with the tv?  When does it need to be picked up by?

Her:  As I said in the ad, it works perfectly. If you can pick it up tomorrow anytime after 10 am, I'll hold it for you. Please confirm the time to pick it up. Once you confirm the time, I'll give you my exact address and cell. My house is around 5&6th, Dickinson & Tasker streets (zip 19147). 

Me: Is this tv HD compatible?

Her: this is the item. 

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/Dynex%26%23153%3B+-+24%26%2334%3B+Class+/+LCD+/+1080p+/+60Hz+/+HDTV/2970158.p?id=1218367940239&skuId=2970158 

 

Maybe, I am just sensitive but I felt like this simple motherf*cker was giving me too much lip.  I ignored the first email talking about she just posted the ad but the second email is what really set me off with "As I said in the ad" b*tch I will break your tv as I come to pick it up.  The nerve of these people.  She posted an ad that did not have that much information and  I was trying to make an informed decision because I am buying a tv from some random person online and not a damn store.  What she does not know is that her attitude cost her the $150 she wanted for the television.  If you are reading this I want you to know that I rather give a store an extra $75 than give you what you asked for you ungrateful piece of sh*t!!!  F*ck you and your flat screen!!!!!