Philly is pissing me off

For the most part the city of Philadelphia has treated me well enough or at least well enough for me to stay here this long.  Every once in a while I will have a day that is just full of f*ckery and all types of bullsh*t!  Just for the record Philly drivers are starting to move up on the a**hole list.

I am driving behind some dude this morning and the a**hole was not paying attention because he was in his damn phone and talking to the passenger so I am trailing carefully.  We stop at a light then it turns green and the d*ckhead is just sitting there so I lightly tap the horn as to say, "hey look up and go" as opposed to me holding down the horn saying, "The f*ck is you doing B*tch a** Motherf*cker".  See the difference?  So as he slowly accelerates he decides to give me the finger out the window.  Me being the fine citizen that I am flipped him the bird back along with a few choice words that he never heard because my windows were rolled up.  As he proceeds to drive down the street he thought he was being "funny" and slams on the brakes like I don't have cat like reflexes.  What he did not know was that if I had rear ended him I was jumping out the car throwing the first 3 punches in his face and then jumping in my car and going home.  I just can't wait until the day that I have the battering ram on my car!

The second incident I was around the corner from my house at Lincoln Fried Chicken trying to get a few slices of pizza and in walks this maybe middle aged but quite possibly older the middle aged hood chick.  She walks in the cashier offers his assistance she declines then looks up at tv and whatever show were talking about injections for women to get rid of wrinkles.  I am not sure what made her think that I gave a f*ck about her or the show but she wants to start telling me that they never talk about men and their wrinkles and they only talk about women because men care.  She told me that men get wrinkles too and they need injections or some nonsense.  I nodded politely and responded with "right" as she kept mumbling on and missing the cue that I came for food and not conversation.  Before she walks out the door she threw some trash away and swallowed more than half of her banana whole.  Had I know that was her special trick before the conversation started I may have actually made that the discussion point. lol