DEAR ABBY: My husband and I moved into our first home two years ago. A few months after that, our lives got even better with the addition of our son. After living here for a while, we noticed that the neighbors behind us have a large window in their shower, and they tend to take a lot of nighttime showers. (I'm sure you can see where this is heading.) For a long time, we chose to ignore it, but my motherly instincts are getting the better of me now. I can't help thinking of the day when my son is old enough to realize what he's seeing.
My husband and I have been debating whether to tell our neighbors we can see them showering. Sometimes they get pretty carried away in there. Should I tell them we can see everything? And if so, how do I go about it without causing them to be embarrassed, ashamed or angry?
- Getting an Eyeful in Ohio
Lets just start with the beginning of this letter. Did you guys really have to throw the party about "our lives got even better with the addition of our son" in there? You guys have less money than you did before, the dates have dwindled down, and if the wife is breast feeding the husband sure is not enjoying the fun bags anymore but I digress. I am sure you love your son more than life itself but shut up!
Soooo only after living there for a while did you notice the big a** window in your neighbors shower and that they did the wild monkey in the shower at night. F*ck outta here who do you guys think you are fooling with that line. I am going to go out on a limb and say that when you guys were house shopping you probably saw the big a** window and that sealed the deal for you.
When you guys said you "chose to ignore it" you really meant that you guys somehow managed to keep your lips shut and not tell your friends that you secretly tape your neighbors dig each other out. Another thing don't try to blame this on your motherly instincts either. You probably have not shed your pregnancy fat and your husband does not find your attractive anymore and he has started spending more time in the mancave with his Maxim magazines. Then again your husband could be going through some issues getting the motor started and is too afraid to try the Extenze pills. Let me tell you something else I know you and your husband talk about telling your neighbors but he does not want to and only engages in these conversations so that you feel he really cares about your feelings and such. You are ruining his fun you selfish bastard. STOP IT!!
How about you don't tell your neighbors and maybe just hang a damn curtain up in YOUR motherfreaking window. I highly doubt they are embarrassed because they probably know yall freak nasties are watching them and they are purposely putting on a show.(there is a name for that) At the end of the day you guys look like the fools for waiting so long to tell them about their showering habits. It is too late now CHUMPS!!!
hilarious.
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