She is a lady of the night!!!

Thanks to Philly.com I have another Dear Abby advice column to answer.

DEAR ABBY: I'm dating a prostitute and have developed feelings for her. The problem is her "job" gets in the way. She has talked about getting another job, but nothing ever happens.

- My Name's Not John

 Answer:  Boooy oh boy!  Where do we even start with this right here?  I mean this sh*t riight heeere!!  Dude, I mean really so you know you are dating a prostitute and you are okay with this?  That alone lets me know that you have some low self-esteem issues going on.  We all have bad days and low moments in life but dating a whore is pretty bad.  I hope you don't mind me calling your lady friend a whore but I am just calling a spade a spade.

I will say this with the economy being as bad as it is I do commend you on finding a partner who has a job. (giggles)  Sure, it is the oldest job known to man but nobody is perfect, right? (more giggles)  I am just curious to as what point did you realize that you caught feelings for this hoe.  Was it before or after one of the many money transactions?  Did she give you a free hand job and it showed that you really meant something to her?  Did she give one of your friends a half off discount?  Truth be told I am curious how you two met because you may not have been a customer but good friends.  I apologize for thinking that you had to pay for sex because it could have been free of charge but I somehow highly doubt that. 

Sir, did you really think she was going to get another job?  When is the last time you looked at her resume?  The problem with her getting another job is that her resume has all the wrong buzz words.  Her resume has sucking, blowing, intercourse,anal, and things of that nature which are really not endearing to most employers.  At this point she can either go be a stripper or a porn star but I am not sure if that would really make you feel that much better about your relationship.  At least your friends won't feel awkward when they say they saw your girlfriend at work. (more giggles)

I would say that I feel for you because of your low self-esteem issues and this horrible relationship that you have yourself in but I don't.  Nobody told you to be Captain Save A Hoe!!  Besides you broke rules number 1 and 33

1. Never date a prostitute 

33. Never date a prostitute

Do yourself a favor and always use a condom because trust me she is a whore.( in tears)