Question: My outlook on dating is very traditional - man courts lady and pays for dinner, etc. Then, after you figure out that you truly want to continue to date, the woman offers to pay. The man I am dating seems a bit more on the equal end - I paid for last night, you pay for tonight. It started very early on, maybe the eighth date or so. I kept getting the vibe that I should offer to pay, and then it got uncomfortable. We went on a vacation together and he wanted to split everything. The place was not my first choice of vacation spots, so the more he said, "OK, give me this much for the bill," the more animosity I felt. He earns a good $30,000 more than I do, his company pays for a lot of his food/ transportation, and his rent is half of mine.
I approached him about this when I was frustrated beyond belief, and basically unloaded repressed anger and rambled on about how female and male roles in a relationship are not supposed to be equal. His response was "Well, I'm not Prince Charming, and don't expect me to be."
Then he claimed he was "used" for money in his last relationship, which I find very, very hard to believe.
I have a very tight budget, with student loans and a huge rent check, yet I still manage to "split" everything. I get him meaningful gifts, and his are only so-so, in meaning and value. I don't need expensive things, but it would be nice to be treated like a lady in terms of dinners and vacations.
Growing up, my dad was amazing and I was his princess. He showed me the role a man is supposed to play: Take the girl out, open her door, pull out her chair, etc. How do you suggest approaching this situation?
Answer: Nothing is wrong with being traditional as we all are traditional in certain aspects of life except for you Apple computer motherf*ckers. Early on is the 8th date? Sweetie, I am sure by the 8th date this gentleman thought you guys would be doing the wild monkey and realized nothing of the sorts was happening and that maybe you needed some persuasion in the form of buying your own sh*t! It is vacation you gold digging hookah. If he pays for everything on vacation that is not exactly vacation for him sounds like a damn job. And if you did not like that place you should have said something and maybe you guys could have gone somewhere else. Had you been doing what you need to have been doing before the 8th date this predicament would not be happening. So the f*ck what he earns $30,000 more than you do. Are you the damn government and going to tell him how and where to spend his money? If his rent is half yours maybe you should stop be so high maintenance and move to wherever he lives. Sooo, you got frustrated and b*tched him out huh. I bet you were singing that Destiny's Child Independent woman song. Question!!! Who in the hell are you to doubt his last relationship? You need to be doubting your last relationship that is why you are out there dating and complaining about dinner. I am glad that you manage to "split" everything with your limited funds that means that your budget is working but for future reference if you were a little smarter maybe you would have gotten a scholarship for college dumb a**! His gifts are only so-so in meaning well that does suck. I am going to pretend you did not say the in "value" comment. Actually, how the hell you going to follow up and say you don't need expensive things but the "value" was just okay. You need to make up your damn mind!! You were you Dad's Princess? * blank stare* He showed you the role a man was supposed to play huh. This sounds like a case of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and that is probably why your a** is so messed up now. You were having sex with the wrong man you dumb heffa!!
the only thing i agree with is the "gold digger: like a hooker, just smarter comment", lol. this is just where girls and guys must differ. (or at least where I disagree w/ u) I think it's both their faults for not setting the standard of what everything was going to be. sex and moneywise. Discussions shud happen before ppl start cussing each other out or feeling sex deprived...but if he was paying for everything simply expecting sex out of it..wat does that make him, an investor? Neway, seems like this girl's situation has now reached an awkward state that she probably can't turn back from. P.S you're so ridiculous! lol
ReplyDeleteLady, You are not being forced to go out with him so if you don't have the funds to split half the bill stay at home. If he insists, let him know he is paying the whole check this round. Also instead of always going out to dinner why don't you save money and cook at home? have a picnic? do a brunch/lunch date? Get creative! Also your financial situation is NOT his problem! He should not change his lifestyle and subsidize your meals. Stop acting he is the last man on Earth and move on if you resent him. I am sure there are men that foot the whole bill out there, just don't be alarmed if most of them are over the age of 65.
ReplyDeleteAre you all serious??? No body know the role they are too play?? What a sad situation? Have you ever picked up the Bible to read your role as a man or woman.
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