Right Away

Some might say that I have road rage but I like to think of it as "I just have more common sense than you awareness".  It could be a male thing, a black thing, a Baltimore thing, or just a common sense thing.  Just the lack of awareness by pedestrians is completely mind boggling.

I need to make this completely clear and I want everybody to understand what I am saying.  I DO have car insurance and I DO NOT mind having a low speed accident with a stupid pedestrian.  Accidents on the highway they might not end up well for me but accidents on the street lets play demolition derby motherf*ckers!!  As*holes with earphones in your ear you should pay attention if you don't want to end up in the hospital.  Take for instance the other night on 33rd street this clown steps out in the street and looks but in the WRONG direction.  It is a f*cking one way street you d*ckhead why look the one direction that cars won't be coming from.  If I was not on my way back to work I would have taken the sucka out just off of general principal!

What really pisses me off are the pedestrians that walk out in the crosswalk when I have the green light.  Who does that sh*t?  What they don't realize is that I will accelerate towards them and only slow down to roll down my window to cuss them out.  I mean what about my green light makes them think that is alright for them to step out into the street?  My car weighs 2,983 lbs unless you weigh 2,984lbs you should get the f*ck outta my way.  As a pedestrian why even take the chance with a vehicle especially with a guy like me because if you catch me on the wrong day I might throw the car in reverse after I hit you just because I can.  If you do have the right away and I am at a stop sign please do not take your time and lolligag in the crosswalk.  I do have places to go and will rev my engine and my foot might slip off the brake.

So in short if you do not give a f*ck about your life neither do I!!


Dumb pedestrians I SPIT on you!!!

What is yo name

***random alert** Don't judge me

I am not sure why I was thinking about strip clubs 10am in the morning but I was. (forgive me Mom)  Well, actually I got to strip clubs from a crude joke from a friend.  Long story short he asked if my knee is feeling any better to which I replied with a "No" and he responds with "Are you using pillows".  Which prompted the response "I am using your pillow". (forgive me Mom again)  I am as confused as I read back on this sh*t on how I got to strippers.  My thought process went into how there will be a new coworker starting and how I usually give a fake name just to be the a*&hole.  *light goes off in head*  annnnd there we have it!!

So from time to time I have may have visited a strip club or two for pure sh8ts and giggles.  What always blows my mind are the need for the strippers to ask what your name is.  Some call it good customer service me personally I wonder if they think I am lonely, desperate, or rich.  When asked this question my answer is always the same: My name is Mike Williams.  It is very generic, easy to remember and something that they don't have to ask "WHAT" over and over, and gets them out of my face ASAP.

What makes these chicks think that I would give them my real name?  I mean if I ask their name they just tell me it is Candy, Storm, Thunder, or something else completely ridiculous.  So if they are in the business of having fake names why can't I?  I at least keep my name respectable and if they facebook that name it will keep them busy for hours trying to find the "real" Mike Williams.

Strippers we SPIT err--you know what I have a soft spot in my heart for ya!!


*all those ladies that do strip drop me a line at 443 juuust playing*

You are not a Professional

Where have all the professionals gone?  If anybody knows the answer to this please let me know.  I only ask this question because of the nonsense that I have just experienced in the last two days.  Currently I am entertaining all different types of job opportunities but one of them has completely blown my top.

Monday, I interviewed over the phone with this unnamed company that went well enough for to request a in person interview.  For the sake of the story we will call the contact person Shantia.(yea I know) Shantia asks for my schedule for the rest of the week which I reply I work 2pm to 11pm on the weekdays.  Together we came up with the time of 11am on Thursday morning for this in person interview and Shantia says she will email with all the details that evening (Tuesday).  Of course I did not get an email that night but the next morning which was no big deal until I read Wed morning what this damn email said.  In a nutshell she was informing me that she changed the interview from Thursday 11am to Friday at 1pm.  B*tch how are you going to change the interview to another day and time without asking me.  Not only did you change the day but the time you chose is an hour before I go into work.  How in the hell did you think that was going to work?  I am not the f*cking Flash you simple bastard.  Me being the polite, well mannered young man that I am ;) emailed Shantia that this time would be no dice for me.  So then she asks if I can do 11am on Friday but of course I have already made plans on Friday because I was supposed to interview on Thursday.  Long story short we settle for Monday at 1pm.  They still did not take into consideration that I work at 2pm but f*ck it!

I just want to know what made them think they could just change the day and time and everything was going to be copacetic when we originally agreed on something else.  Who does that?  Sure, I am the interviewee and they are the potential employer and maybe they figured I really need the job and they are in the position of power.  What they simply forgot is the fact that they have a damn job opening that needs to be filled!!!  We are kind of on equal footing here.  When did that whole process become all about you unnamed company?  Oh yeah that is right it is not.  I will let you in on a little secret:  I am not taking the job if offered anyways!!!

Whaasssup Doc??

Soo, remember how I said yesterday Doctor's should have a degree??  After the visit today I feel like I was bamboozled. My $20 co-pay made me so DAMN mad.  I could have swore these things used to be like $5!!  The nurse was half disgruntled and did not know how to speak.  That $20 co-pay means you should respond to "good morning" and a Mr. Taylor would not hurt either.  Granted this is not the Doctor's fault but she should at least know how to control her stable.

Maybe I was expecting more from the regular check up at the Doctors but I was underwhelmed greatly.  When I was a child the Doctor used to stick his hand down my pants coddle my testicles and tell me to cough.  I purposely chose a woman Doctor to erase those horrible memories but I guess the testicle grabbing ends when you are grown.  Imagine how pissed I was to find that just want not happening anymore.  If you know me you do really understand I am damn upset about this.  The fact that it does not happen anymore makes me really wonder was this guy just enjoying himself.  Must not be that important for it to stop now.

Long story short she asked me a couple of questions made me say "ahhh" and examined my knee only because of the complaints I had for it.  The blood work I had done she gave me the option of getting it done or not.  I thought maybe checking if I had bad cholesterol would not be an optional thing but something mandatory because it is important.  Guess not!!  The real icing on the cake for me was her telling me that I was healthy and young and I don't have to come back for another few years.  Excuse me, what the f*ck did you just tell me?  Seriously I mean what if in the next year something develops and I don't realize it and by the time I get to you it is already too late!  Besides, if you get paid every time I see your a&* why not tell me to see you at least once a year.  Makes sense to me but ehhh well.

Piece of Paper

It is really all about that piece of paper?  Why is about that piece of paper?  I mean it does not even have any pictures of dead guys on there.  I can't buy sneakers, groceries, or anything of value with this.  Some may say I can buy financial freedom or my way into a job with this degree but to that I say suck it!!

Actually I am pretty sure this college system is a sham for most students who do not decide to pursue degrees in really advanced areas of study.  I mean really you go to school for 4 or 5 years of school to get this degree struggle to find a job that pays $30,000 a year.  Get outta here!!  I can't buy any car with the f*cking roof missing on $30,000 a year because the loans to pay for the stupid a*& degree has to be paid.  Everything is out of whack.  You are paying to get your foot in the door and maybe have a chance to be stupid successful.

Besides engineers, doctors and a few other professions I think a degree is pointless.  Law degrees??  That just tells me that you have done a lot of reading and can argue.  If you dedicate time to reading and understanding the law and studying past cases YOU could be a lawyer too.

Over the summer I had a management position for a hotel in the city and before working there I had NO hotel experience.  So, you are telling me that I really need to finish school to get my hospitality degree so I can go BACK to being a manager.  Sounds pretty stupid, huh?  A cat I know has the degree that I do not have so he could get a job being a waiter at one of the premier luxury hotels in the city.  Sure, he can move up the chain and make all the connects to network but still.  At what point do you start questioning the last 5 years of life and the six figures you spent for this degree.  If I a potential employer and have to choose between the recent grad with no experience for the position and the college dropout with relevant work experience for the job I know who I am going with 98% of the time.

Sure, I probably should be shot for having this way of thinking working at institution of education but it is what it is.  Unfortunately my theory and way of thinking will never be very popular.  See the boss of whatever corporation you might work for had to pay for his/her degree and thinks you should have to do the same.  It does not matter how capable you are of the job.


If I could do this all over again I would rather my parents give me the money they spent for loans on education and gave the money to me so I could do something else productive. Do you know how many guns, ammo, ski mask, rope, and cargo vans I could get with $100k.  Neither do I but you get the idea.  The revolution would have been ON and POPPIN!!!




I SPIT on you worthless Degree club!!!

I am however proud of all my Drexel people that got out and that is making that paper!!!

Something for your mind

"Giiiiirl, why do you open your thighs so wide?  Do you know what your self worth is?  Your body is a temple and your mind should be mine"  Shut the f*ck up male spoken word artist!!  You know who you are those guys always kicking that buuuullsh*t.  You guys slay me and make me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

I barely take any of you guys seriously.  For the most part you make me laugh and then take a nap on train tracks.  I mean really who are you fooling?  You talk this sh*t about appreciating the women because you do NOT have one corny a*& sucka!!  You talk that good good about rebuilding the community because you were the kid that picked on by the neighborhood bully.

I like poetry as much as the next person and I do appreciate good poems but these male spoken word artists kill me.  Sure, there are some that are out there that are not that bad but they are are faaaar and few in between.  Maybe, I don't like you because you always have this "better than thou" vibe or maybe I am mad that I can never ever get the time I spent listening to you back.

Mr. Spoken Word Artist how about you take a different career choice and try being a con man.  I see so many ladies swoon over the words that come out of your mouth and say "Giiirl he is so deep". * confused look*  Chick, all he really said was that he wanted to have sex with you and wanted a lil head from your friend.  You fool so many people into thinking you have talent when in reality it is minimal.  Matter of fact spoken word artist I have something for you:

The way your words are twisted and spit, I can tell you aint sh*t.
Your dirty clothes let me know you are down on your luck.
Do us all a favor can you, will you?
Find that man in the mirror and knock yourself out!!! *snaps *

Wasteful

This past Tuesday was election day for Governors, Senators and all those other important figures that should be for the people.  Everybody was running around screaming to the top of their lungs about how they were going to vote and all other types of nonsense.  I only say it is nonsense because the people I know talk this voting sh*t don't know a damn thing about what or who they are voting for but I digress.  I really just want to vent about Gov't efficiency or lack of it.

Lets take the Census for example.  Every ten years the Gov't wants us to participate in this so they can have a better understanding of how funds should be distributed blah blah blah.  I am fine with this in theory but all I really see is a lot of undue spending.  Take for instance in the mail I get a letter saying "CENSUS" and I was excited to fill out and do my civil duty.  Why in the f*ck was it only a piece of mail telling me to look out for the Census coming in a few weeks.  Really, I mean c'mon you send that to every home in America and you have killed a lot of trees, used too many damn envelopes, and more importantly pissed me off!  I don't need a piece of paper to tell me something else is coming I am not that damn stupid.  I mean WTF is efficient about that Gov't??  Sounds like a waste of motherf*cking money Uncle Sam.

To add injury to insult the Census worker that came my door so I could fill out the Census(yeah so I forgot to mail mine in sue me) was a dum dum.  The FIRST time she came I filled the forms and we had a pleasant conversation.  The next time she comes so I can fill them out again, I let her know I already completed mine she says "Ohhh, this is not 4206 it is 4204 if I could read I would be dangerous". 

If that is not inefficient I am not sure what is.  Ehh, I take that back.  Children that get free breakfast and free lunch are supposed to come from a household that would be eligible for food stamps.  So, if the family gets food stamps which gives them food that is paid for by the Gov't then ideally you should have food in your fridge so why the f*ck do these fat bastards get free meals at school?  Talk about a waste of money.  I am not in the business of taking handouts but if they are handing out money sign me up!!